I’m sorry for being mean.

For lack of better word, I guess that’s the closest terminology to put it.

Yes, whether I admit or not, I am being mean to my oldest brother. I don’t want to. REALLY. But I guess he has to understand life that way even at that expense.

He is lacking responsibility and he wouldn’t flinch. We are all trying to help him but he makes himself helpless. I definitely hate to say that last statement. I love him and I want him to learn. Now I have to step up as a sister to help him realize that. We care for him very much, we cannot tolerate misbehavior.

Honestly, I am the only one from the family with whom he actually acknowledges reproach. He knows my words are true. He hears my father but he doesn’t heed. No, he’s not disrespectful; he just can’t be responsible for his actions. And for that, other complications arise. And other people—us, in the family—suffer.

My siblings and my father respect my role as the “mean sister.” I’m really sorry. I pray that you’d open your eyes, Kaka.

Pinay, you’re not making sense.

Alright, I will take the defensive stance and say this: I’m not affected (or rattled) by the fact that most of my friends are either committed, engaged, married, have babies…etc, etc, other than be happy for them. And it's true.

Unfortunately for me, since most of them belong to one of the categories above (with two weddings this year and two babies on the way—these are four different people, by the way), I am not spared from the sniper scope of “questions” about my “status.” My NBSB status and the future that I intend to tread on is under study.

Which led to the earlier post on today’s reflection: I have not allowed my self to fall in love. At least, not yet.

Somebody cried: W-H-Y ??!

No response.

Today's reflection

I have not allowed my self to fall in love. At least, not yet.

Perhaps that answers the other questions.

Every time I look at her face I couldn’t keep my self from feeling bliss. Her smile surmounts everything else around me—she IS very happy. And I am ever joyful for her—for them. I love her and wanted only the best for her. She is my sister. My dear friend. My beloved Teeny. And as she nears that aisle, I rejoice with her. My best wishes to my best friend.

Happy Birthday, Grandma!

Today is Grandma Merl's 81st birthday. She's celebrating in Daly City, CA.

Happy Birthday, Grandma! I miss you!

I pray for God's blessing of good health and joy in your life. You are loved.